Opinion
Most articles on this blog are summaries of research articles. Opinion pieces represent my opinion based on my experience on my own journey and from working with others.
Hope for those feeling hopeless
If you are at beginning of a weight loss journey you probably have conflicting emotions of hope and hopelessness, especially if this is not your first try. You may be hopeful that this time will be different and yet part of you may wonder if this will be still another failure.
When I was trying to decide whether to lose weight in my 50s, I couldn’t think of anyone I knew who had lost weight and kept it off except people who were in their 20s when they accomplished it. (Helplessness, hopelessness) So I asked my doctor if it was even possible and she responded that she did have some patients who had done it. That was enough to give me hope.
Losing weight or losing weight and keeping it off?
It is a different thing to have a goal to lose weight—say for a wedding or a class reunion—and another to lose weight and keep it off. The “keeping it off” is the key part. It is not necessarily the “hard part” but it requires new habits that you sustain for life. Cultivated carefully, your new habits can be a source of greater enjoyment, not a lifetime of “self-denial.”
Losing self-hate
Many of us think we will lose the self-hate after we lose the weight! But that is not how it works. You need to target “self-hate loss” when you begin your journey toward “weight loss.” Self-hate, shaming yourself, and repeating our culture’s poisonous messages to yourself seem like they would motivate the weight loss, right? But in reality, they fuel a vicious cycle of overeating because you feel shame.
You don’t need to lose the self-hate before tackling weight loss, but you do need to tackle it at the same time.
The crux of the issue is that our society makes being overweight into an issue of moral failure. We are beginning to call out “fat-shaming” and to promote body positivity, but it has by no means penetrated our hearts and minds. Labeling certain foods as “bad” (a moral category) and then calling yourself “bad” for eating them is one example of this. I’m not going to list more because none of us need to hear a repeat of those messages! But it’s true that many of us have a lot of self-hate related to our weight. Self-hate is definitely something to lose!
Is the worth of a human being about the size of the heart or the size of the body?
An important part of weight loss that stays off is separating your beliefs about your worth from the size of your body. Your worth as a person is measured by things such as your character and the size of your heart, not the size of your body.
Nourishing and cherishing: a switch of mindset
It is possible to lose weight, even a substantial amount of weight, without hating yourself. In fact, letting go of self-hatred and replacing it with a mindset of nourishing and cherishing yourself is an important aspect of making a lasting lifestyle change.
Your body is the only one you have. You need to cherish it. An attitude of cherishing your body can replace the habit of hating your body. But you’ll have to cultivate it. It is cherishing your body to give it enough sleep, to nourish it with what it needs to serve you the best, and to give it the movement it needs to function optimally. Your body will be your lifelong companion. Cherish it and it will reward you!
Part of cherishing your body is to switch your mindset to thinking in terms of how a food can nourish your body, rather than designating it as a “good” food or a “bad food.” All foods provide some nourishment, if only calories. Using a “nourishment” mindset will enable you to create a way of eating that includes primarily foods that nourish you in multiple ways and yet make room for a certain amount of food that nourishes primarily through calories. It’s very freeing!
